


The Hotdog Incident

by Winnychan



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: M/M, Samurai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 18:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14983319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winnychan/pseuds/Winnychan
Summary: Set during the events of the 2K3 episode “Samurai Tourist” (Season 4, episode 13). Rated PG-13.





	The Hotdog Incident

“You idiots!” Leonardo blazed as he advanced on his brothers, fists clenched at his side. “THIS was your plan for taking our friends out for dinner in the Big Apple? Are you  _insane?_ ”

“Aww, geez. It was just a hot dog, Leo! I don’t see why he’s freaking out so much.  There’s nothing gross about a hot dog. Especially these ones!” Michelangelo was still laughing. Leonardo could not believe his brother was still laughing, still trying to downplay the seriousness of such a huge faux pas.  “They’re not like ordinary hot dogs, full of gizzards and ground up hooves and artificial crap,” he went on to enthuse, much to Leonardo’s horror. “These ones are made from, like, choice cuts of pork only! Organic, all natural! Which is basically the same as vegetarian, right?”

“No, Mikey. Not even close,” Donatello sighed with irritation, fixing Mike with a frown to convey his disapproval. His gaze shifted to the leader in blue. “I’m sorry, Leo. I actually DID know we were heading here. But I mistakenly presumed Mike would serve them tofu dogs. I mean, this place DOES make tofu dogs! I have no idea what he was thinking, giving them normal ones.”

“Ugh, I was thinking those things are the  _grossest!_  Dude, you can’t impress anybody with authentic New York City cuisine by feeding them tofurkey. That’s not dinner, it’s a cruel and unusual form of punishment! Anyway, the GOOD hot dogs are basically just as healthy.”

“It’s not a HEALTH DECISION, Mike!” Leo shouted as the leash on his temper finally snapped. He advanced on his brother with such aggression that the inappropriate laughter was finally quelled. “You have disgusted and deeply offended our guests! It would be like someone offered you a roast, and it turned out to be cooked  _human_ meat!”

That comment seemed effective in finally getting through to Mikey. His blue eyes widened and his mouth fell open, his face growing wan with realization. “Dude! I - I didn’t think about it like that! I just didn’t think it through, okay?!”

“That’s because you  _never_ do! That stunt you pulled was not just evil, it was obscene! If you had any honor at all, you would already be on the ground before our guests and BEGGING for their forgiveness!”  

The younger turtle ducked his chin close to the upper lip of his plastron and had backed several steps away by the time Leo was done with his tirade. “Wait… both? Look, Gen was FINE with it! He wasn’t the one who– wait. Where’d he go?”

“He WAS fine with it. Or tryin’ to front like he was, ‘til you started going off about hooves and gizzards and shit!” Raph cackled. He jerked a thumb over one shoulder, adding, “Then he started looking pretty green all of a sudden, and had to book it thataway.”

“Wipe that smile off your face, Raph,” Leo demanded, turning on his other brother fiercely. “There is  _nothing_ funny about this!”

“Easy, Leo!” Raphael’s palms flashed up in casual surrender. “I think it sucks, what Mike did to ‘em! But watching you rip him a new one for it was a little bit funny. Mostly cuz of how bad he deserves it! So do me a favor and dial back the roid rage, will ya? Or at least, point that shit in HIS direction!”

Leonardo’s breath huffed in frustration for several more beats. The silence stretched as the others stood and watched him, waiting to see what the furious leader would do next. By this point, Leo had decided that it was past time to regain control of his temper. He hated this growing reputation he was earning for having such a short fuse lately. Incidents such as this one _just kept happening_ , in spite of all his efforts to prevent them. He forced himself to draw and expel air from his lungs in a more slow and controlled fashion, until he felt confident that he could unclench his fists without his hands visibly shaking.

“Donnie. Please do me a favor,” Leo spoke at last, in a low voice that was as close to calm as he was going to be able to manage. “Go after Gennosuke and see what you can do to help him recover.”

“You got it,” Don agreed gently. His dark eyes still regarded Leo with lingering concern, but he started off immediately in the direction where Raph had indicated that the bounty hunter had retreated.

Satisfied, Leonardo turned towards Raph and Mikey. “Did either of you two see which way Usagi went?”

The youngest turtle pointed sheepishly to a neighboring building that was a couple stories taller than the one where they currently stood. “There. I saw him jump onto that fire escape and climb up to the roof. He’s probably still up there. Want me to go after him and do the whole grovel and apologize thing?”

“ _I’ll_  go after him,” Leonardo growled. “You’ve done quite enough.” He gave Mike one last withering glare before stalking off in the direction of the fire escape.

* * *

It did not take Leonardo very long to reach the rooftop where his friend had retreated. He jogged across the metal platforms and flew up rusty ladder rungs to reach the top vista less than a minute later. Leo believed himself to be rather familiar with this part of town, and was not expecting the sight that greeted him at the top of the fire escape. Sometime within the past six months, someone had apparently converted what had been a drab expanse of concrete into a charming rooftop garden.

His eyes skimmed geometric square and triangular tiles of lush green grass, white sand, and multi-chromatic gravel. Several patio loungers had been arranged around the perimeter, as well as a few wooden end tables. Some of the large round basins featured carefully arranged cacti and succulents while others spilled with fragrant flowers.

At any other time, such an unexpectedly serene and beautiful sight might have taken his breath away. But right now Leonardo only had eyes for Usagi. When he spotted his friend, his heart gave a painful twist of sympathy. The ronin samurai was on his knees before one of those basins. He was dry heaving violently into some pale pink azaleas, one paw locked around the ceramic lip of the container in a death grip.

As Leonardo approached and dropped into a concerned crouch beside him, the long-eared ronin gave one last shudder and then went very still. He sat in silence with his mouth pressed against the top of his fist for a moment before he felt composed enough to speak.

“Do not concern yourself with me, Leonardo-san,” Usagi rasped quietly. “I will rejoin you and your brothers momentarily… once I have recovered.”

“I am so sorry, Usagi-san…” Leonardo could tell that it injured his friend’s sense of dignity to be seen like this, but he could not bring himself to leave the ronin’s side in such a miserable state. “I can’t believe my brother would be so thoughtless and insensitive. I wanted to beat Michelangelo to a pulp once I realized what he had done…”

“Please do not,” Usagi protested, his voice still choked and rough from recent retching. “I… I would not be the cause of strife between brothers.”

“You didn’t cause anything!” Leo insisted, shifting onto his knees beside the ronin and setting a hand on his shoulder. “This was entirely Michelangelo’s doing. He  _never_ thinks before he acts. If I had known…”

“Even so. Stay your hand, my friend. I beg you.”

The turtle gave his friend’s muscular shoulder a brief squeeze of encouragement. “Some visit this has been for you so far. First I snap at you, brush off your good advice… and then my brother poisons you!” He sighed and shook his head with regret. “I really am sorry about all of this. Will you let me help you back down to the rooftop below us? My brothers are still down there. Maybe Donatello has something in his bag of tricks that could help with your nausea.”

“No,” the samurai refused, squinting his eyes as his frame shook with another shudder. “I… I  _need_ this sickness. I welcome it.”  

As Leo looked on, Usagi bowed his head over the container of flowers once again and pushed two fingers deep into the back of his throat. Concern welled up in Leonardo, drawing his brow ridges together more sharply. Instinctively, he took hold of Usagi’s arm and tugged, gentle but insistent. “You’re  _making_ yourself sick? Hey, hey… don’t do that. There’s no need to do that!”

“Yes, there is!” Usagi choked. A flash of true panic crossed his features as he glanced over in desperate appeal. “I have to  _get it out_. I have to…!”

“You already did,” Leo explained gently, giving the spoiled pot of azaleas a pointed look.

“I must be sure!” The samurai’s face twisted. He tried again to gag himself. Again, Leo gripped  his friend’s arm and would not allow it.

“Look, you’re just getting up bile at this point. There’s nothing left to purge. Please…” Hesitantly, Leonardo reached for his friend. The samurai abruptly turned, putting his back to the potted flowers and pressing his cheek to the turtle’s plastron. Leo was surprised at first, but a beat later his arms settled around the other warrior.

“I will accompany you,” Usagi decided in a much quieter voice. “Though I still… feel so unclean.”

A possible solution occurred to Leonardo as he embraced his friend. “I have an idea. Why don’t we let the others find a more suitable dinner for Gen while you and I head back to the lair? I will gather some salt and pure water…”

Usagi withdrew from the turtle’s plastron in surprise and met his eyes squarely for the first time since Leo had joined him on the roof.  _“Harae…”_  he whispered as he realized what was being offered.

“Yes,” Leonardo smiled at him. “We can perform a purification ritual together. Master Splinter has a  _chōzuya_ we could borrow, a  _haraegushi_ … whatever you think you need. Would that bring you peace?”

“Oh, yes,” Usagi agreed. His amaranth eyes shone brightly in the dusky evening light.

Leo bobbed his head once. “It’s decided, then.” He spotted the sunglasses lying on the ground where they must have fallen during the ronin’s earlier distress, and bent to retrieve them. He slid the sunglasses back onto Usagi’s face with care, then got to his feet and held out a gallant hand.


End file.
